This song was sung by LeFou and various townsfolk about Gaston's greatness. 


Gaston: [speaking] Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man! No one says "no" to Gaston!

Lefou: [speaking] Darn right!

Gaston: [speaking] Dismissed, rejected, publically humiliated! Why, it's more then I can bear!

Lefou: [speaking] More beer?

Gaston: [speaking] What for? Nothing helps. I'm disgraced.

Lefou: [speaking] Who? You? Never! Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together!

[singing] Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston, looking so down in the dumps.
Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston, even when taking your lumps.
There's no man in town as admired as you, you're everyone's favorite guy.
Everyone's awed and inspired by you, and it's not very hard to see why!

No-one's slick as Gaston, no-one's quick as Gaston, no-one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston,
For there's no man in town half as manly! Perfect, a pure paragon!
You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley, and they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on.

Barflies: [singing] No- one's been like Gaston, a kingpin like Gaston

Lefou: [singing] No- one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston.

Gaston: [singing] As a specimen, yes I'm intiiiimidaaaaaaaating,

Everybody: [singing] My, what a guy, that Gastooooooooon! Give 5 hurras, give 12 hip-hips

Lefou: [singing] Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips!

Everybody: [singing] No- one FIGHTS like Gaston, douses lights like Gaston

Stanley: [singing] In a wrestling match, nobody [CHOMP] BITES like Gaston!

Silly Girls: [singing] For there's no- one as burly and brawny.

Gaston: [singing] As you see, I've got biceps to spare.

Lefou: [singing] Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny

Gaston: [singing] That's right, and every last inch of me's covered in hair!

everybody: [singing] No- one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston

Lefou: [singing] In a spitting match, nobody SPITS like Gaston

Gaston: [singing] I'm especially good at expectorating [spits]

Tom, Dick and Stanley: [singing] 10 points for Gaston!

Gaston: [singing] When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. But now that I've grown, I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a BAAAAAARGE!

Everybody: [singing] NOOOOOOOOOOO- OOOOOOOOONE SHOOTS like Gaston, makes those beauts like Gaston

Lefou: [singing] And goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston!

Gaston: [singing] I use antlers in all of my DEEEEEEEEECORAAAAAAAAATING!

{Everybody: [singing] Say it again, who's a man among men?
And let's say it once more, who's that hero next door?
Who's a super success, don'cha know, cant ya guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers on!
There's just one guy in town who's got all of it DOOOOOOOWN-

Lefou: [singing] And his name's G-A-S-...T [speaking] G-A-S-T-E, G-A-S-T-O, oh forget it.}


See AlsoEdit

Gaston (Reprise)